Looks like the whirlwind that is my life has died down for the time being, for which I am quite grateful.

I’ve been putting in 50-hour weeks, taking work home, & generally ruminating on whether or not I’ll still be employed come January. Add to the mixture unrelenting early summer heat (four of the past eight weeks have seen temps from 95° to 115° F) and a barely functioning A/C at work, and you have me, dragging my abused carcass home every evening, shedding all unnecessary clothing, and collapsing into a chair for some mindless television watching or in front of the computer playing a totally addictive FB game. Doesn’t that sound like so much fun?

Good news has come along~ all indications are that our institution will remain viable, albeit under the control of another company, and the employees have been assured of their continued employment. Well, 99% assured~ I’m told the language of the agreement is necessarily ambiguous to allow for weeding out unsuitable staff members. So now the real work begins~ six months or more of reporting, investigating, sorting, transferring, logistical planning, and extensive interviews, before I can settle into a new work environment and team. I am cautiously optimistic about the opportunity, though it’s tough for most accounting-type geeks to embrace wholesale changes to our routines.

So, amid all this stress and uncertainty, we have managed to have a little fun. My mother surprised me by changing her plans and attending Sam’s graduation after all; I believe a little bird, in the guise of my older brother, let her know that I was really quite upset about her missing this important family event (even though I would never say anything about it). She was at her charming and lucid best, sharing anecdotes and photos with us all~ here is a shot of my parents together, more than 45 years after their divorce

They’ve seen each other only about a dozen times over those years, usually at a big family event (I think the last time was after Sam’s birth), and have always been friendly~ I think they had a good time together, with no spouses or responsibilities, to indulge in walks down memory lane.

We had an open house BBQ the evening of graduation, very relaxed and low maintenance, with the family and most of Sam’s friends drifting in and out,

until they headed off to the Safe and Sober Mystery Night, sponsored by the Senior Parents’ Club. There are no pictures of the event~ no one wanted to risk their cameras around the go-carts, bumper boats, & mechanical bull~ but this is what remained of Sam the next morning

Poor puppy had been going full bore for most of eighteen, emotionally charged hours, after coming off two weeks of finals; I believe he slept about 12 hours Sunday, as well as all of the drive to and from Yosemite on Monday.

Chris and I managed to have an afternoon alone on Father’s Day~ Sam was nursing his annual beginning-of-summer-vacation cold and opted to stay home. After breakfast and church, we drove east into the valley, stopping first at Lavender Hollow Farms; I had been telling him about it since the Garden Club outing there last spring and we lucked out that they were still opened for the season.

We wandered about, Chris poking his head into every open door he could find, and left with a couple plants to start building our collection; someday, when we have a house of our own, I’m going to plant a bank of lavender, in all shapes and sizes, both for the fragrance and the beneficial bees that will come to work in my garden.

We followed the road along until we reached Oakdale and the famous Cheese Factory. Whenever we’ve driven by in the past, it’s either been on our way to an event with no time to stop, or on our way back to town, when all we want is to get home. This time, we were ready for some lunch

Instead of the “loaf of bread, jug of wine, and thou”, we opted for a round of foccacia, a tub of pesto quark, and a bottle of sasparilla, since we were driving and it was getting a bit warm

seated in this park-like area, with the petting zoo animals as company.

We poked along home, stopping at roadside farm stands (scored 20 ears of sweet corn for $2.00!) and admiring the fruit-laden apricot orchards. It was probably Chris’ last relaxing weekend until September; his busy season is in full swing and he’s currently on six days a week with a short staff.

Speaking of relaxing, it’s time for me to toddle off to my recliner and work on my knitting; I have a cardigan two-thirds done for myself and need to cast on some cotton washcloths and market bags, as well as a child’s sweater for a new-to-me charity project, Warm Woolies. Hope you enjoy a cool, comfortable week~ it’s not looking good around here, but at least the A/C is working again!

Okay~ this totally cracked me up (what do you think, ladies- too close to the truth, maybe?)

So, let’s see~ I left off on Wednesday, right?

Well, Thursday was a peach also. We had a staff meeting first thing in the morning (crikey- I hate 7:30 meetings) & the CEO announced that the previous day, he had laid off three people- one from each department, except accounting (Thank you, Lord).

Ouch!

Our entire company only has nineteen employees~ that’s a 16% cut in staffing (sorry, I’m an numbers geek- I can’t help myself); to say things were a little grim around the water cooler would be an understatement of the first magnitude. Everyone is a bit on edge, despite assurances of our financial stability & that these were proactive measures to cut expenses; human nature being what it is, I hear a lot of grumbling. The truth is, it wasn’t as bad as all that- one person had already given notice & was just cut loose a week early, & another was on extended medical leave & volunteered to be the one laid off (she is such a sweetie & fortunate enough to not really have to work.) Also, we are more fortunate than most; our institution hasn’t gone into the home mortgage business, so we aren’t facing dissolution like some; what we’ve been experiencing are the residual effects- consumer loan defaults, like autos & credit cards, plus a rash of bankruptcies.

The evening was spent at choir practice; we had a whole month off from rehearsals, as well as a break from doing two services, but it was still hard to get back into the routine- especially with a 2 ½ hour practice L There is lots of new music coming up with the church’s 75^th anniversary celebration in September & October, followed quickly by the annual Christmas program. I am seriously considering a sabbatical from music ministry after the first of the year; for a while now, I’ve been feeling unmotivated- the music doesn’t inspire me & rehearsals have become an obligation, so I think it’s time for a break.

Friday way all about running around: knitting group; drive a carload to tricking practice (think Jackie Chan/Jet Li- choreographed “fights” with flips, jumps, twists, etc); drive back for tennis lessons (which were cancelled- thanks for the call, John); back to tricking; over to pick up Chris from the bus; stop for a burger; drive the carload home, via the pizza place; then finally home to fall asleep watching “Jeeves & Wooster”. Sad part is- it won’t change that much when Sam has his license- he can’t drive with anyone under 18 in the car (without a licensed driver over 25) for 12 months, so either we’re up or the others find their own way- I don’t want to put too much temptation in Sam’s path.

Saturday was Chris’ birthday; he had to work all day (it’s now been 2 weeks since he’s had a day off), so I fielded telephone calls for him (he left his cell phone at home) put in 3 hours at the office, then to the gym, grocery store, post office, & library. We had a late-ish dinner at Famous Dave’s & gave him a couple gift cards- Sear*s & Star*bucks- before sending him off to sleep.

Sunday, I was all by myself; Sam went to a birthday party at a place called Sky High Sports- the pictures are scary, but he only pulled a couple muscles- so I indulged in a visit to the fabric store (a necessity, really- I needed one skein of yarn to finish Chris’ vest & needed fabric for an apron swap due Sept 1^st), a lunch of Banana Crème Oreos & iced tea, & an afternoon nap with the girls. I think that was the appropriate way to end a week of trauma, drama, & over-schedulingness, don’t you?

Oh, my~ am I glad that week is over!

First there was the current heat wave- the temperatures have been from 100˚ to 110˚ all week. Everything is dry as tinder, water & electricity restrictions are in place, & my poor veggies are wilting, despite twice daily watering (by hand, with conserved bath & wash water.)

Then there was a resurgence of wild fires & traveling smoke that has blanketed the valley, striking everyone with burning eyes & congestion. Go to this link to see the current situation (which is dire); note that of the 35 or so fires burning across the US, 22 are in California alone. Earnest prayers on behalf of all the exhausted & overextended firefighters are needed.

Of a more personal nature, the air conditioning in my office has been virtually non-functional since Monday; it works until around 11:00 am, & then shuts down for the rest of the afternoon. By 1:00 pm, the office temperature is 87˚ & climbing; Thursday, I finally got permission to close up at 1:00 pm- a tough call, since it was payday for the worksite-based branch- & move operations back to the main branch for the remainder of the day. Oy- you should have heard the abusive messages that were left on our answering machine! I spent most of Friday explaining that it wasn’t just because we were severely uncomfortable- the computers couldn’t handle the temps either & were shutting down.

Tuesday was the day my car died & I had to wait outside for 45 minutes until AAA could get there; the battery was a seriously dead duck (he couldn’t even jump-start me- as soon as the cable was removed, it died again), so $100 later, I have a new one with an 84 month guarantee. Wednesday, my transmission started dragging & making ominous noises as I drove to the Garden Club meeting; Chris replaced the filter & fluid the next day, & it seems to be okay for now. Oh, did I mention that my extended warranty expired last week? Yep, they time that stuff pretty well.

To cap off a wonderful week all the way around, Friday morning, as I was watering my lemon tree (which is thankfully blooming again- the last heat wave caused all the newly set fruit to shrivel up & drop off), a wasp took exception to my activities, stinging the middle & ring fingers on my right hand. Son of a baked biscuit- that really hurt! My fingers were swollen for about 8 hours & I loaded up on antihistamines just in case.

The saving grace of the week was…uh, maybe it was…no…ummm…wait, I’ll think of something…well, I guess I’ll need a little more time to find the silver lining.

Okay, pity party over; I’m going to my recliner to knit & watch my DVD- The Vicar of Dibley, hysterically funny & highly recommended.

I’m sorry for the lack of posting in the past week; work is still in an upheaval, so I have been putting in some long hours, trying to stay on schedule (& failing miserably- you know the part of Murphy’s Law about whatever can go wrong will at the worst possible time!) When I make it home in the evening, I’ve been either tied up with my sewing machine & serger (which has been giving me fits this week), or just too whooped to try stringing together some words that make sense. The rest of this week isn’t looking any more promising & the weekend is full of commitments, so I seriously doubt I’ll be able to post a real entry until early next week.

Here are a few highlights of the Garden Activities:

b          The Big Family Party

b          A Second Day all by Myself

b          Festival of Trees

b          Sam starts Driver’s Education

b          Dahlia’s Trip to the Vet

I am doing my best to drop in to visit my friends, since I enjoy peeking in on your lives (voyeur that I am); I’ll leave you with another offering of...

Cat Haiku

(Author Unknown)

We're almost equals

I purr to show I love you

Want to smell my butt?

You know how work sometimes gets in the way of life? That’s been my week so far.

The powers that be have decided that the most cost effective way to add new work areas to our main office is to move the Accounting Dept; I was informed Monday that within the next month, my office space (& my boss’ office) will be moved to another branch. I understand the fiscal motivation- we’re not an income-generating unit, we don’t need to be available to the general public, & that particular facility is being under-utilized (3 desk areas, 2 teller stations, yet only open 3 days a week with one supervisor). But personally, this is throwing my routine into a tizzy.

I am not afraid of change; I think change is good for you...in moderation...with plenty of advanced notification.

What can I say- I like order & stability.

Sue me.

I’ve been riding Meg’s Waffle-Coaster for days (it’s similar to “Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride” but with more indecision & a much cooler looking car); what I really need is a list: What does Meg get out of this Chaos?

A new, larger work area (which they have actually consulted me about).

One less wall between me & my boss (loud voice & constant apologies)

Fewer people coming to my desk to interrupt my work flow

More phone calls from people needing my help (all the record files are coming with me)

An outside view

The view is a parking lot

It’s a temporary move

Only one or two years...maybe

Double the drive to work

A monthly mileage allowance

No shops or restaurants within 3 miles

There is a shaded, grassy picnic area & a break room

I won’t be able to go home for lunch

I’ll probably eat less junk

No more afternoon naps

I’ll get more knitting & reading done

The guys won’t be able to drop in for a visit or to help out

I won’t have to listen to my neighbor’s radio all day

I’ll be expected to fill in as an extra teller on paydays

Paydays are every other Thursday

My backup (my boss) is off on Thursdays

Unfortunately, the cons slightly outweigh the pros, but I’m resigned to my fate. Much of the past two days have been spent in “conference” with my boss & various vendors (architect, telecommunications, office equipment sales, etc) trying to get the essentials (that no one else seemed to think about) lined up.

You will be proud to know that I have asserted myself brilliantly, insisting on dedicated phone lines, a solid partition wall instead of glass with an opening (people looking over my shoulder all day? I don’t think so!), & a new copier with multi-functions which I use daily. I’m also going to insist on a new chair; I’ve had this one for 5 years now & it’s pretty well butt-sprung. Oh, another good thing- with the natural light & extra space, I’ll finally be able to have live plants in my work area. I’m looking forward to doing some shopping for essentials to make the office more functional (she’s using folding chairs to hold the microwave & coffee maker, for crying out loud) & a few fun things to make the new location more comfortable.

Do you think a quilted printer cozy would be too much? 

I think a bit of clarification on my last post is in order.

Since reaching majority, I never have, nor ever will, give a flying fig about what others think of how I choose to present myself. This attitude is a direct legacy from my Mother (along with my curly hair, love of books, penchant for tea, & inflated vocabulary.) It is also one of the benefits of not being an adolescent anymore- I don’t really care about fitting into society’s current definition of fashion.

I wear the clothes I feel comfortable in (with the added benefit of no VPL & wardrobe malfunctions) &, while not the height of style, are clean, classic, & coordinated. I don’t wear much jewelry- my wedding ring & a watch are my staples, but rarely wear earrings at work, because they just get in my way- the hoops were a birthday gift from my co-worker.

As for my face, at the risk of sounding immodest, I really don’t need to wear makeup on a regular basis. I’ve been blessed with good genes (from where I’m not certain- Mother’s face has more creases than a sharpei puppy) & an aversion to tanning, so other then a little darkness around the eyes, some remnants of childhood freckles, & the occasional pimple, there isn’t much to camouflage. When I do wear makeup, it’s limited to mineral foundation, a little blusher, & some mascara; even that is a bit of a bother- first time I blow my nose (which I do quite often through the day) half of it comes off. My usual concession is when I’m being the “face person” leading worship, giving tours at the museum, or a social event.

No, my objection to these reoccurring exercises in “style intervention” is the disproportionate self-importance, rampant incivility, & unmitigated gall displayed by people who feel they have the right to voice their unsolicited critique of another person’s appearance & choices (Oh my- Mother’s vocabulary is in rare form today!) Now, if I had been fishing for compliments or been foolish enough to ask, “How do I look?” then I admit I would be fair game. But the fact is, I have repeatedly & politely (for the most part) discouraged these discussions, along with other declarations that I should shorten my skirts, color my hair, & “do something” with my fingernails. Now, I’m all for freedom of speech- Lord knows, I “freely speak” my mind on a variety of subjects often enough- but these types of comments are just plain rude. This is a point where the old adage “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all” comes into play; if you don’t care for the way someone is dressed, mind your own business- smile politely & get back to work (not that any of you would be this crass or insensitive- the “you” I’m talking to is “out there” in the big, bad world outside my Garden.)

My second point of clarification is much shorter; I’m not worried about my dreams- I understand that my subconscious is still trying to reconcile my Christian beliefs in the sanctity of marriage, with my unbridled joy that I’m no longer tied to the taciturn, inflexible, curmudgeonly father of my two oldest children- I was just curious to know if other ex-wives have the same kind of dreams or am I uniquely individual on this front.

On a completely different subject, I ordered a new camera on Friday & it should be arriving by the weekend. I put the purchase on Chris’ credit card- which I don’t like doing after what happened before- but after the fiasco Friday morning, I decided to bite the bullet. What was that? I didn’t tell you about Friday morning? Oh, dear~ well, pull up a stool!

Our friend, The Great Pretender, has been running a weekly photo game for several weeks now, & last week’s assignment was to take a picture of your hair care products. She posts the pictures on her Space & people come to guess to which blogger each one belongs. I’ve missed the past couple of weeks (for obvious reasons), but really wanted to do this one, since it had been my suggestion. Unfortunately, I forgot about it.

Until Friday morning.

As I was coming out of the shower.

Shoot! I told her that I’d be posting this week- I wonder if it’s already done?

So, wrapped in a towel, hair still dripping, I scurry downstairs & turn on the computer- there is an email from GP, saying she’s waiting for my photo before posting this week.

Blast! I’ve got to find Sam’s camera right now!

So I creep into his room, followed by Dahlia & Poppy, who proceed to have a hissing match with Violet; fortunately, no blows were exchanged, but it was loud enough to wake a 16-year-old boy on summer vacation. Yep- that loud.

We begin to search his room for the MIA camera; the fact that he didn’t question why we were looking for his camera at 6:45 am testifies either to his inate knowledge of his mother’s idiosyncrasies or his semi-conscious state. It was finally located in his tennis bag (don’t ask me!) & snatching it from his hand, I scamper back into the bathroom to take the photograph.

I then dash back downstairs- still in my bath sheet- to download the photo; problem is, I’ve never used this camera & can’t seem to locate the memory card. I have to call Sam; he stumps down stairs, pops the card out, and then hands it to me with a faintly disgruntled look & a definite growl. I thank him politely (hey- it’s not my fault he stayed up until after 1:00 am watching some movie!)

I readjust my bath sheet & sit down to insert the memory card, when I encounter the second technical problem- this card is a different format then my old camera & I can’t see a media card slot that resembles this one. I briefly considered calling Sam again. Very briefly. Then just started trying different slots, praying it wouldn’t get damaged or sucked into the CPU, triggering a message that flashes “You dolt!” & summons the Geek Squad to my living room.

Finally, success! The slot is located, the photo is downloaded & emailed to GP, with humble apologies for my tardiness, & I go back to the bathroom to finish getting ready for work. Not only have I worked up a pre-antiperspirant sweat running around the house, my hair has dried into some fantastical Vidal Sassoon inspired style, so it’s back into the shower to start over from scratch. Fortunately it was Casual Dress day at work- dressing took less time then usual- but I still had to take care of Daisy’s shot & find something for breakfast, so I showed up a bit late.

Good thing no one chose that day to comment on my appearance- I fear my response would have not been edifying & may have contained less then erudite language.  

Um, Mr. Conductor- could you stop the roller coaster? I really need to get off now!

That has been my week- up, down, sideways, with a couple of barrel rolls thrown in for giggles.

• öI had a half-day off Wednesday, which was interrupted by a call from Jessica. Long story short: she & the new housemate can’t seem to play nice- arguments, accusations, & now assault (police were called by Jess)- so she has a 30-day notice to move out & needs us to take care of the animals. The ensuing conversation, trying to understand what happened & get details on her plans, resulted in me losing my composure & venting my more perturbed feelings over her life & choices. I know it wasn’t fair to hit her when she was down, but when I heard “I didn’t do anything!” (second cousin to “It’s not my fault”) for the 264^th time in the past 10 years, I admit that I flipped out- I am so incredibly frustrated over her inability to take responsibility for own actions & their consequences. Not productive, I know, but it felt good to speak my mind instead of biting my tongue yet again, & surprisingly, I’ve been sleeping pretty well ever since. So, we will be driving down to San Jose Saturday morning to bring Violet & the rabbit, Demeter, back to live with us for a while.
• öSam started at the new Dojo yesterday; they are in temporary quarters while remodeling is done at the old site, which has been purchased from the city. Consequently, he’ll be training at the same site, the same days, with the same Sensei & the same students- but as a new, independent school. Chris & I both went for the beginning of the advanced class, since Sam was being awarded his new rank belt; Sensei G had it customized with Sam’s name & his 3 rank stripes embroidered in gold thread. After the ceremony, G pulled us off to the side & said that he won’t be charging us for Sam’s training anymore; he feels that Sam’s assistance (voluntary) with the beginners class, as well as the advanced class, more than covers the costs of the regular tuition. What a blessing this is- the tuition is only $50 a month, but now we can direct that money towards his tennis lessons or additional training with Sensei J in Livermore. Mostly, I’m humbled & honored that this man values our son so highly.
• öI got a parking ticket in the mail yesterday; it was for the car that we are letting Jessica use. I went online to pay it (why bother- blood from a turnip) & found there is a DMV hold on our car. There are more tickets. Seven more tickets. One a week. All “Street Cleaning Obstruction”. At $36.00 each. The last one on Wednesday. I called her (surprisingly she answered her phone, even though she knew it was me) & asked- as calmly as possible- why she hadn’t parked the car somewhere else? Her response- the car hasn’t been running since the end of April. *SIGH* So, in addition to picking up the cat & the rabbit tomorrow, we will be having the car towed back to Tracy or maybe to our friend Keith’s auto shop in Dublin (he’s the one who bought her last car- which died in our driveway- sight unseen for $300); depends on the distance- we get free towing for 100 miles with AAA. Oh, well- another project for the guys; maybe they can get it fixed & running by the time Sam gets his license next year.
• öMy first telephone call this morning was from the woman whose job I took over seven years ago; this is not that unusual- when employees leave, they tend to call me to be their personal banker instead of waiting in line like everyone else. Anyway, after finishing the pleasantries, she proceeded to offer me a job! It’s a long story, but she is now a VP at another financial institution, under the CEO who use to be our Accounting Manager, & she’s in need of an experienced accounting person. Evidently desperately in need, because I’ve had two emails in addition to the phone call today. Other than the money (a 40% increase- 25% after factoring in commute costs) I’m not really tempted; the site is a 45 mile commute each way, at the height of traffic; it’s more of a “Jackie of All Dept” position, doing member service, loans, cross-selling, back office- a little bit of everything. She has already poached 3 of our employees in the past 4 years- one of them my longtime partner in accounting- so I would know most everyone already, but to be real truthful, I never cared for this woman when I worked with her before & I think working under her would be a royal pain. Besides, I’m comfortable- I’m a fixture here, with lots of seniority & a certain level of autonomy; my commute is ten minutes & I can go home for lunch, or hit the dentist, doctor, or vet on break. I honestly have no career ambitions- I work for a paycheck, like what I do, & go home in the evenings to have a life. But it was nice to be asked; I’ll have lunch with her next week & let her know I’m not really interested in a change right now, but thanks for the offer.

Friday is here; no dance class tonight, so I’m going to knitting for a while, then home to reruns of “Numb3rs”. Tomorrow morning is the Farmer’s Market & I need to stock up on fruit & squash; our tomatoes are beginning to ripen & we have plenty of carrots for the time being. Sunday is my day at Ravenswood, & we are expecting Chris’ brother Dave, wife Kristy & Baby Tristan to drop in for a quick visit & maybe a picnic on the grounds. You all have a great, restful weekend!  

What do you call a cat that has swallowed a duck??

A duck filled fatty puss.

Today, I decided to treat myself kindly; Chris had to go into work, so I was able to sleep peacefully until after 8:00, when I was forced to answer the call of nature. Our local Farmers’ Market opened a couple of weeks ago, moving to Saturday mornings, instead of Wednesday evenings, so headed downtown with my shopping bag to stock up- look at what I brought home!

It will be a couple more weeks before we are harvesting our own tomatoes, & a bit longer until I have squash to pick, so I couldn’t pass up these lovelies. Those little red berries on the towel are my weekly harvest of strawberries from my volunteer plant. And look what I got when I did my first test pull on the carrots- these are an heirloom variety, which are smaller & sweeter then what you would find in the store.

Sam went off with his buddy for the day, to help his family move their bookstore to a new location in town, so I spent the afternoon finishing the quilt top, doing a little knitting, & snacking on Rainier cherries (oh, are those thing addictive!) Dinner was a bowl of whole Crimini mushrooms & yellow squash, stir fried in a little olive oil, butter, garlic & sea salt, eaten while watching one of my absolute favorite movies, The Quiet Man.

Tomorrow, I’ve been invited to practice croquet with the Ravenswood team over at the property , so I’ll probably be driving into Livermore after church, then going over to the nursery; I need to put in some new parsley (mine all bolted), refresh some of the plants in the baskets (it got pretty warm & windy this past week), & I think I want to put some Gerber daisies or Zinnias out front. I also need some inspiration about filling that section of raised bed- Chris wants to put in more tomatoes, but I really think that 6 plants for 3 people- 1 of which doesn’t eat tomatoes- is overkill.

Oh, forgot to tell you- Sam passed his 1^st Class Brown Belt exam; the belting ceremony was held on Thursday, but we were attending the annual tennis banquet (where he was awarded a Varsity Letter- he & his doubles partner were the only JV players to earn one) so he’ll have to wait a couple of weeks to receive his new standing.

Cat Haiku

Grace personified.
I leap into the window.
I meant to do that.

Author Unknown

Oh, wow! I’m being featured on “Space Walk Spaces” this week! I love this site- if you are ever looking for new-to-you spaces & interesting characters (emphasis on ‘characters’ in my case ) drop by & explore Caroldee’s reviews- I’ve met some good friends here. Thanks, Caroldee- I’m honored to be included in such fine, upstanding company.

If you are new to my Garden, welcome; a quick warning- I swing between sappy & sassy, depending on which way the wind is blowing (& it’s always blowing in Tracy) & what devilment my assorted children are perpetrating on their poor, be-sainted Mama. Not to worry, though- I generally keep it PG around here.

Just a quick story to relay today. You know, I pride myself on my quick wit, but I believe I have been dethroned as the resident office smart aleck.   

As I’ve mentioned, I work in the accounting department of a financial institution; as a nearly 10-year inmate of this particular loony bin, I get a lot of questions from employees/managers/officers throughout the day. Yesterday, one of the supervisors D  (a new-ish employee, with a loud, brash demeanor & New York accent) called me about a problem a member was having with our Bill Payer program. I looked up the account on my computer & saw several Bill Pay entries scheduled; since I didn’t know which one D was asking about, I looked at the last one & asked her:

“Which one is it- Atholl?”

There was a millisecond pause, & then she replied:

“What did you call me?”

Thinking she didn’t hear me, I repeated a little louder:

“Which one is it- Atholl?” (hint- say it out loud, the way it’s spelled)

To which D responded:

“You best quit calling me names!”

She then started giggling- a second later, I realized what I was saying, blushed red to the roots, & started giggling myself.   This of course got D to laughing at me for being so slow on the uptake, & I started laughing even harder because she has one of those infectious laughs; before long, I am rocking in my chair, tears rolling down my cheeks & D has dropped her phone. It took ten minutes for me to get control of myself, & every time I meet her anywhere in the office, the evil little troll will point her finger at me & say: “Watch your mouth!”

D is leaving Monday for a three week African safari- I hope the pygmies get her!